Call it the 'Horde of the Rings'

"Return of the King," the final installment of "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy, made its film debut on Staten Island last night, selling out the first of the midnight shows by 3 p.m. and the second by 7 p.m.

The third show was on its way to being sold out a couple of hours before screening as fans of J.R.R. Tolkien (author of the original books) and Peter Jackson (director of the films, which are based on the books) gathered at the United Artists movie theater in Mariners Harbor to exchange eccentricities.

"I wish I would have been in it," mused Josh Baver, a Grymes Hill performance artist who bore a slight resemblance to the film's lead hobbit. "I would have been Frodo."

"Frodo dies twice and he's a zombie at the end," announced John Szeluga, a videographer from Travis, ruining the ending for anyone who doesn't know that's not how the movie ends.

Looking like a hero hobbit is one thing, and looking like the film's lead dwarf is another thing altogether. Port Richmond film technician Bryan McGuckin confessed his friends often compare him to Gimli. It isn't only because the stocky, bearded McGuckin might resemble Gimli; he actually played him in an indie film project.

McGuckin savored one last smoke before he stepped inside. Did he have enough nicotine to last through the three-and-a-half hour film? "It's a 100," he replied, brandishing the extra-long cigarette. How did he plan to go to the bathroom without interrupting his viewing experience? "Catheter," he quipped.

Dakota Kessler, a salon receptionist from Castleton Corners, is one of those fans who's actually read all the books. "They're very accurate," said Kessler, referring to the movies. "But they would be 10 times more accurate if they put more stuff in it."

That would make "Return of the King" five hours long, Ms. Kessler figured, and she wouldn't mind that at all.

And who is her favorite character?

"Gandalf rocks, because he knows so much about everything," said Kessler. "He's all knowing."

"Smeagol is my favorite," said Nicole Mathison, a West Brighton baby-sitter. Referring to the ruined hobbit's torured performance in the second installment, she said, "I felt really bad for him. He was singing about catching fish and he was so happy. You pity him and it's so sad."

"They did a beautiful job of portraying his schizophrenia," said Port Richmond High School senior Aurora Ellis, referring to Smeagol's heated debate with himself in "The Two Towers."

William Buffy, a New Dorp resident who works as a security guard at Rockerfeller Center, doesn't read the books until he sees the movies. He read "Fellowship of the Ring" and "The Two Towers," but only after seeing Jackson's vision of them.

"I'm waiting for all the movies to come out," said Buffy. "Why ruin the movie by reading the books?"

But there is no way to ruin any movie by Jackson, according to Great Kills videographer Chris Sorrentino, who appreciates the director's older, lower-budget splatter-fest films for their "hilarity of gore."

- Aaron Smith is a news reporter for the Advance. He may be reached at smith@siadvance.com.

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